1. Tell us your story. How did you and your spouse meet?
In January 2001 I was starting the second semester of my freshman year at Mary Washington College and I was living in an all-female dorm with roommates from Hell. Most weekends I went home just to get away from them. I had become good friends with a girl that lived across the hall from me and she begged me to stay on campus the following weekend so that I could meet her new boyfriend that was coming up from Fort Eustis. I really didn’t want to stay just for that, but she was so insistent and excited, I said that I would. Her boyfriend arrived with another soldier that had apparently liked the idea of a weekend in an all-female dorm. When I came by to meet the new boyfriend I was introduced to Jeremy and was immediately very glad that my friend convinced me to stay. He didn’t say much for the first few hours but once we got more comfortable with each other, we talked non-stop for 2 days. He called me a few days later to ask if he could come to visit again and we’ve been “Amanda & Jeremy” ever since.
2. What have each of you learned about yourself while being married?
Jeremy’s says he’s learned that he doesn’t need as much alone time as he thought he did. I try to let him have time to decompress, especially after a trip, but he says the longer we’re together, the more he’d rather spend off-time together.
3. If you could go back to yourselves as newlyweds, what advice would you give yourselves?
Marriage is hard. Military marriages are harder. Everything that’s important in a marriage,…trust, communication, sex, finances…is even harder to maintain when your apart for long periods, when you’re adjusting to living together again after a deployment, when you’re family continues with day-to-day life while you’re away, and when your spouse’s job dictates every aspect of your life. In that environment it’s easy to let issues ferment. DON’T!! Hurt will turn to anger and anger will turn to resentment if you let it. Address problems as they come. And I don’t mean have a fight and then make up sex. Work to resolve the issue. If you’re still fighting about the same stuff ten years down the road, you haven’t fixed it yet.
4. What is the biggest lesson you have learned while being married?
Jeremy was used to taking care of Jeremy for most of his life. He did things when he wanted, the way he wanted, with little outside influence. Marriage has taught him that committing yourself to another person means that, big or small, he must consider me in every decision he makes. Whether it be a career move, an expenditure, how he conducts himself in public, or how he spends his time at home, his choices affect more than just him now.
I am a textbook, A-type control freak and I always want to have a game plan. Being married to Jeremy (and the Army) has taught me that it is OK (and necessary sometimes) to ask your spouse for help. He’s my partner in life and that means that when I have too much on my plate, I need to feel comfortable asking him for help.
Trust, and honesty are the most important elements in a relationship. Without these two things, there is nothing.
5. What advice would you give to other military couples (if this applies)?
Your spouse’s military career can only be successful if they have a power-partner backing them up. This life isn’t for everyone and if either of you is having to worry about the other’s fidelity, spending habits, social behavior, ability to keep the household functioning, substance abuse, etc., you’re never going to go the distance. Jeremy knows when he leaves on a trip that I’m going to keep our household rolling, our son will be loved and cared for, the dog will be fed, and the bills will get paid, and I’m not going to do anything insane while he’s gone. That peace of mind allows him to focus on his mission and look forward to coming home to a happy, healthy environment. In return, I know he’s going to jump back into our home life without skipping a beat and be a happy, healthy, present husband and father. At the end of day that’s what its about.
Amanda & Jeremy have been married for just over 10 years. They have an adorable son Gabriel and a personality filled dog named Murphy. They are currently stationed at Ft.Campbell, KY.
If you would like to be featured please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will forward you the questionnaire. (This applies to Military and Non Military couples)! Thank you so much and I can’t wait to read about you!